Earlier today I posted a picture of myself and my darling infant twin boys out to eat at a restaurant.  And it got me thinking.

Turkeys and I out to eat...September 2008

This photo was taken at P.F. Chang’s in Des Moines, IA.  At the time of the twins birth, my husband was the Executive Chef so we went there quite a bit.  I was a new stay at home mom and there were many a day that I HAD to get out of the house.  So whenever I got the itch, we packed up ALL OUR SHIT and headed to the mall where we would have lunch with Daddy and then walk around for an hour or two to kill some time.

My husband and I are restaurant folks, well, I was until I took my leap of faith in October.  The husband is getting ready to return to his P.F. Chang’s roots in a few weeks.

Anyhow.

As I looked at this picture, I remembered how much I got out and about with the boys’ when they were itty bitty.  The point of this little article is to give you pregnant mamas or new mamas of twins some helpful tips on going to restaurants and other public places with your twin infants.  Conversely, if any of you are restaurant folks or retail personnel pay close attention to these tidbits of helpful info as they pertain to you as well.

Before you leave the house

Here’s a handy dandy little diaper bag  list that might be helpful.  Please feel free to print your own copy and hang it on your fridge (go ahead and start stocking up on magnets now because you’ll need when your twins start bringing home backpacks full of artwork daily).  Some of you might think this list is overkill.  I can most assuredly attest to the fact that there is a good chance when heading outside of the home with your twin infants in tow that you will, in fact, need all of these items.  Most of the list is self-explanatory, the ones that may have you scratching your head, I will provide you with a brief explanation.

1. 4 premade ready to go bottles AND an extra full container of formula
2. 4 pairs of pajamas
3. 8 diapers
4. 4 burp cloths (or 4 of those receiving blankets that are too small to really use as a blanket)
5. 6 pacifiers
6. 2 bottles of hand sanitizer – for all the old bitties that insist upon holding your precious bundles of joy right after they blew their nose into an already snot filled handkerchief.
7. 2 clean shirts for yourself – unless you enjoy the smell of baby vomit times two.
8. Scissors – this one is a must especially if your infants just started an antibiotic for an ear infection and decide mid-dinner to have a massive red poop explosion.  Scissors come in handy to just cut the poop saturated clothing off of their cute little bodies.
9. Latex or Vinyl Gloves – I don’t know about you but baby poop (especially, but not limited to red baby poop) makes me want to hurl.
10. 2 full containers of wipes (extra thick) because those flimsy ones just don’t get the job done adequately.
11. Plastic bags – to dispose of your biohazardous materials.
12. A sign to wear around your neck that says,

Yes, they are twins.  Yes, I have my hands full.  They are boys (do you not see all the blue).  They are “natural.” No, I don’t sleep.  Yes, I am Supermom but please feel free to hold the door open for us and our monstrosity of a double stroller.

When going out to eat:

1. Make reservations and specifically ask the person taking the reservation for a large table to accommodate two infant carriers and slings.
2. Do NOT forget the diaper bag at home.
3. Upon arriving at restaurant, ask the hostess to ensure your table is set up with the slings (or high chairs) in place.  As a server, it would drive me bonkers when people requiring high chairs and slings would be made to stand awkwardly at the table while the hostess went to retrieve all the paraphernalia.  As a mom, I hated to be the star of the restaurant with my gigantic diaper bag (see above) and twin infant carriers hanging out by the table anxiously awaiting the return of the hostess with the mostess.
4. Do your research and have your order ready to go as soon as the server arrives.  You have no idea how long you have until your babies are screaming bloody murder.  Most servers were taken aback by me.  ”Hi.  Welcome to (insert name).  Can I bring you a beverage?”  ”Yes, I’ll have a vodka martini up with olives.  And I’m ready to order.”  Most servers would just stare at me blankly then quickly scrounge around for a pen and paper feverishly writing as I blurt out my order at rocket speed.
5. Sit back and enjoy the martini for the 3 minutes you have before the children start requiring your undivided attention.
6. Accept the fact that you will not enjoy a hot meal for the next 6 years.  At least.

When going out to other public places (such as the mall)

A little leg work is successful to make your first outing to the mall with your twin babies a successful one.

In Conclusion

One of the most repeated comments I receive from others (still to this day) is:

I don’t know how you do it!  Twins!  Wow.

I did it and still do it with a lot of planning.  I did it by learning the hard way.  I did it because I didn’t know how not to.  That is one of the joys of motherhood.  We can all learn from one another and share little tidbits of information we gather along the way.  Sure there might be some sarcastic laden tips in my list, but I can promise you that I actually did all of these things and it made my experiences mothering twin babies much more enjoyable.

What about you?  Do you have anything to add to this list?  What about twin mamas with singletons too?  I’d love to hear all your ideas.  Share the knowledge friends.

xoxo

Andrea

It is January 23, 2013 and my Christmas decorations are still up.  There is very little I like less than putting away Christmas decorations hence my apprehension and lateness in actually hauling all the crap out and making my house festive enough to satisfy everyone.

Here we go again.  Into the great unknown.  Job change.  Ugh.

David and I have been married 5 years and together for 8.  We’ve gone through quite a bit in our relatively short time together.  We were only together for 3 weeks when he accepted a promotion with P.F. Chang’s at a new location in the great state of Iowa.  I went with him.  <<<—–  That link right there gives you a nice little synopsis on our history together.

When he made the decision to leave P.F. Chang’s one year and 4 months ago, we were both excited.  His new job took him to downtown Phoenix, to a higher end steakhouse where he would be able to truly flex his culinary muscles.  For the first 8 months, he loved it.  He developed an amazing team and was producing awesome results both culinarily (I just made that word up) and profit-wise.  Things started to change last summer.  He started to have to work longer hours to control labor.  He had another kidney stone and then, this fall, was diagnosed with diverticulitis.  His health issues were exacerbated by the stress of his job and the numbers corporate were requiring him to provide.  He began regularly working 12-13 hours per day, sometimes 6 days per week.

Then, he started drawing again.  And I am such a dirtbag wife, that I had completely forgot he used to draw.  Back in the beginning of our relationship, I recall seeing some of his artwork and being completely blown away by his sheer raw talent.  But work, kids, moving, all that shit, got in the way and I forgot.  He loves Dragonball Z.  Seriously, we have 45 million vhs tapes in a box somewhere (Note to self:  check out ebay).  So he started printing off images and drawing them.  He is good.

This is a replication. I don't know about you but I sure couldn't draw this.

I encouraged him to create some original artwork.  Problem:  He was working too damn much!

I was getting irritated by the hours and the boys…  Well, they would get pissed.  Pissed and then sad that Daddy had to work so much.  Nothing broke my heart more than hearing the following conversation transpire between the boys and their dad:

“Daddy, you off tomorrow?”

“No, buddy.  Daddy has to work.”

“See you tomorrow, Daddy?”

“No, I’m sorry buddy.  Daddy won’t be home til late.”

“Awwwww, no daddy!”

G.U.T.W.R.E.N.C.H.I.N.G.

A few weeks ago, my husband came to me and said, “What if I got a different job, making about 10k less per year, but with a lot less hours AND a lot less stress.”  I didn’t know what to think of it, to be honest.  I know that he has been working a ridiculous amount of hours lately, only seeing the boys for a total of 4 hours per week.  I know that the stress of his job likely has a lot to do with his health issues, but the thought of taking a 10k a year pay cut kinda made me a little weak in the knees.  I posted the question on facebook to my amazing community of friends.  We had over 60 comments.  <<<<——It’s pinned to the top for easy reference.

Every single commenter shared a similar sentiment:  GO FOR IT!

So I prayed about it.  After all, I just took my own leap of faith a few short months ago and have been blessed immeasurably.

So he is going to do it.  WE are going to do it.  Together.

I’ve hammered out the budget.  I’m ready to cut back.

He will be heading back to P.F. Chang’s in a few short weeks.  He will no longer be the big boss.  He will be a Sous Chef.  But he is okay with that.  Being a chef isn’t his dream.  It was a way to pay the bills.  His dream is to actually follow his dreams, if that makes sense.  He doesn’t know exactly what that is, but that is part of the adventure.  My dear friend, Doyin, from Daddy Doin’ Work, helped us to conceptualize a way for him to possibly make an income through his art, which we are both more than eager to pursue.  Adventure awaits, my friends.

He does know that he wants to be an integral part of the boys lives.   He just wants to be there.  He wants to leave work at work.  He doesn’t want to have a corporate figurehead breathing down his neck all the time.  He wants to go to work, come home, enjoy his wife (ahem), play with his kids  and pursue his dreams and if he can do that for a mere 10k less per year, then I am with him 150%.

We cannot wait to see what the future brings.

Here’s the deal: there are millions of mom bloggers out there.  Yes, Blogger and Wordpress do offer free platforms complete with free templates that are fully functional.  Some of their templates and backgrounds are pretty.

BUT.

(And that’s a big but.)

It isn’t truly yours.  Here you are, spilling your guts to complete strangers online.  Or reviewing things you love.  Or doing giveaways.  Inviting virtual strangers into your Internet home.

Your blog, your space on the Internet, deserves the same treatment.

Your blog is your Internet home.  It is a place that is all your own. Comforting and safe.  Some of your own spouses don’t even know about it.  Some of you are anonymous, but it is still your home.  Make it pretty.  Make it more than functional.  Add a nice coat of paint to it, shine your counters, add that bit of flair that reflects you and your personality.

Here’s where I get a bit sappy… bear with me, please.  When we moved to Phoenix from Des Moines 3 1/2 years ago, I did not make any new friends, save one, for 2 whole years.  I spoke with my friends from Iowa and Ohio a few times a month, but with the time difference it was tough.  Add in kids and schedules.  Ugh.  After the kids went to bed at night, I read books.  Tons and tons of books.

With me, you not only get a refreshing blog makeover, but a friend for life. I have made so many friends through this blog and web site design adventure, and I look forward to making many more.

xoxo

Andrea

Today, the turkeys and I, along with our neighbor, Amber (she’s 8 years old) went to the park to burn off some of their energy ride their new bikes and enjoy the beautiful Arizona morning.

Before I get to the point of this post, first, I have to say that my next purchase must be a bike, because those little buggers are fast and I was totally that mom half jogging around the lake in the park screaming, “Slow down, wait!  Do not go one inch further or we are going HOME!”  My next purchase will be a gym membership, because, well just because.

As we pulled into the park, and unloaded the bikes, I noticed that a cover had been installed over the playground area.

“Sweet,” I thought to myself, “it’s about dang time.  Now we can come here and not have to worry about getting scalded on the equipment that has been baking in the sun all day long.”

Wrong.

Not only did they cover the playground area, but the entire area itself had undergone a makeover.  Think Extreme Makeover:  Playground Edition.

Extreme Makeover is known for being, well, extreme.  In my previous lifetime, when I viewed the show (only the Home Edition, mind you, not the body, lipo, botox one), I often thought to myself, “Wow.  All this stuff they are doing is so awesome, but I wonder how functional it really is for the family, in the long run.”  I mean a good chunk of those designers don’t even have children but yet create a crazy amazing bedroom that the kid will be sick of in 3 months and want to change.

The brilliant people who re-designed this playground are clearly cut from the same mold as the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition designers.  I need to give you a visual for you to truly understand.

This was a very nice park, had a couple of slides, some swings, perfect.  Boys loved it.  I could sit on the bench and watch them play.  We could take walks around the lake, feed the ducks; it was the perfect park.

Before Extreme Makeover: Park Edition

Was the perfect park.

After Extreme Makeover: Park Edition

Another angle, still ridiculous.

Whose bright idea was this contraption?  This thing was so ridiculous.  It was made of rope.  Rope.  My 4 1/2 year old boys gave it the old college try but after getting stuck at the top for the bazillionth time, requiring me to move my ass from the bench, I decided it was time to move on.  I mean, if this was just an addition to the playground area, then it could be ok.  But it wasn’t.  This was the central focus.  It appeared as though there is only one other mechanism for the childrens to play on and it was under construction.  Check out this  merry go round on crack.

Are you kidding me?

Thankfully, this particular park has another play area.  Surely, they must have left the more traditional, safer, less mommy-can-you-help-me type stuff on this one.

Nope.

This one even gave the boys pause.

Apparently, the swings that we knew and loved whilst growing up are a thing of the past.  Nary a swing was to be found at either of the playground.  Well, they did have the baby swings, but that was it.  These suckers replaced the good old fashioned swings, you know, the ones where you actually have to pump your legs.

Even the boys didn't know what the hell to do. Pardon the blur.

Extreme Makeover: Playground Edition equals a failure of epic proportions.  Epic.

Do you have any playgrounds on crack in your area?  I would love to hear about them in the comments or on facebook!

~Andrea

Oh, what a great tale this will be, complete with a display of my mad photography skills.  I make taking pictures from a moving minivan look easy peasy.  I was going to try to be all clever and write this in third person, but it would just be too hard to keep track of all the characters.  You know, all 4 of us.  Well, 5, really, if you count the snowman.

Many of you probably are wondering why in the world my little family went on a search for snow on Christmas Eve Eve.

We moved to Phoenix from Iowa 3 1/2 years ago.  The turkeys were born in Iowa and spent their first Christmas there.  In July, 2009 we packed it up and headed west.  Consequently, the turkeys have not seen real life snow since they were itty bitty.  They’ve been fascinated by the shows which feature the pretty white stuff all winter.  So the hubs and I chatted and decided we would take a little mini road trip on up to the high country to search for some snow.

Yes, I photoshopped myself because I'm a little vain, didn't shower and didn't have a drop of makeup on. Don't judge.

So off we went on our little adventure to “Snow Mountain.”  The turkeys came up with this one on their own.  Pretty clever little guys.  I’ve got a little photo montage for you all to chronicle our adventures for the day.

Our first picture heading out of the Valley of the Sun

This may or may not have been taken from a moving minivan

As our little van trudged up the mountains, we were inundated with adorable little questions and commentary from the backseat:

“Are we there yet, Mommmmmeeeeeee?”

“Mommy, we can’t go to the mountains, snakes are there.  Snakes bite us.”

“Mommy, I have to poop.”  This last one occurred literally 15 minutes after we had stopped for lunch.  Sigh.

No family road trip is complete, even one through the mountains, unless you see a strip joint

Unfortunately, the boys were not impressed. Yet.

Even though it is blurry as hell, it was so cool. Before we left the desert, there were hills upon hills of cacti (cactuses?). Whatever.

I was laying across my husband's lap to capture this shot. Good thing there were no passing motorists. That could have been awkward.

During this short roadtrip, the turkeys were beyond adorable.  They quickly overcame their fear of snakes (see above) and became increasingly impatient to play on “Snow Mountain, in the Snow Park.”  Of course, since we are hack parents and didn’t really do any research about parks or places to stop to play in said snow, we found ourselves in a bind as we started losing elevation and the temperature started to climb back up.  I grabbed the trusty phone to ask google.  But, gasp, there was no reception.  In the middle of the mountains.  Shocking.

Where the hell could we stop so the kids could play in the dang snow???

As we approached the next downward hill and gazed into the valley, my husband and I looked at each other with dread.  Before us stood a valley of green, no white.  Shit, we missed our chance.  And the boys do not like U-turns.

Nope.

Hubs yanked that car over on the side of the road.  We unstrapped the turkeys who were giddy with excitement, yet confused at the fact that the “snow park” was a mere 15 feet from the street.  Improvise, people, improvise.

The following photos are the boys’ first experiences playing in the snow.  Sigh.

No, they do not have gloves on. I told you, I am a hack mom.

Daddy and his boys

Starting the snowman

Working on their masterpiece

Daddy's so smart. He found some dead flowers for our snowman's eyes.

I'd like to introduce you all to Ralph, our family's first snowman!

The boys and Ralph.

The Great Search for Snow: 2012 was a SUCCESS!  Love to you all and Merry Christmas!

~Andrea

As I sit here at my computer, this dark and gloomy Sunday morning, my thoughts drift to those parents thousands of miles away who are facing countless of dark and gloomy mornings, regardless of how brightly the sun might be shining.  As I sit here, my turkeys are sitting on my lap, snuggling close to me.  It’s almost as if they know what I am going to write about and their little bodies are keeping my mind and body warm as I write these difficult words.

I haven’t cried for a long time.  Months, probably.  I’ve been overwhelmed by stress, anxiety and guilt.  It’s as if my emotions shut down.  For those of you who know me, you probably find this shocking, as I used to cry at the drop of hat.  Sappy commercials, movies, stories in the news, blogs about sick kids.  All of it.  I wore my emotions on my proverbial sleeve.  I even looked back at pictures of my babies while they were in the NICU and I couldn’t even cry at those.  It was disconcerting.

I started counseling recently to deal with my anxiety and much to my surprise, I don’t even cry during the sessions that are probing the deepest and darkest recesses of my soul.  It is almost as if, during these sessions, I am standing on the outskirts, watching someone else share my thoughts and words.

But I cried Friday.  I cried Saturday.  And I will probably cry today.

I cried as I looked at the 20 names of those beautiful children whose beds are now empty, whose parents feel the worst grief imaginable and who are now safe in the arms of God.  I cried as I thought about any parent suffering the loss of a child, including my new friend Hera.

I cried as I held my babies.  I cried as I thought about the parents who will never have the opportunity to do that again.

However, even as I cried, I could literally feel the Holy Spirit envelop me in His arms.  For I know, no matter what, when I weep, God weeps.  I know that His presence is in Newtown, Connecticut.  His presence is everywhere.  You only have to open your heart to let Him in.

And as my boys would say, “Hail Mary, Mother of God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all.”

Peace and blessings to you my friends.

So I sorta launched a new website and blog design site today.  If you would have told me even 3 months ago, that I, Andrea Kay Boring, would be designing blogs and websites, I would have laughed in your face.  Seriously.  For those of you who might be curious, here’s the play by play of how I started designing websites.

Last winter, I wrote a blog post about how desperately and completely I wanted to know what I was supposed to do with my life.  You can read about that here.  In February, I launched the Twins Happen facebook page.  In March, I re-launched this here blog, Twins Happen, complete with a brand new look and my own domain name.   I even hired myself a fancy shmancy blog designer.  I remember seeing her drafts come across emails and watching the entire site unfold, amazed at her ability to create these wonderful images online.  I also remember briefly thinking:  I wish I could do that.  I rejected that idea as quickly as it popped into my head.  I wasn’t an artist.  No way in hell could I do what she does.  I enjoyed writing my blog several days a week and creating the Twins Happen community on facebook.

However, I also wanted to find a way to make money doing what I loved.  I played around with different advertising networks and affiliate links.  But, you see, I am an instant gratification kind of gal.  Not too big on patience here, which is somewhat amusing given my current project.  Nothing was happening.  So I started thinking outside the box.

I brainstormed for days and came up with what I thought was a brilliant idea.  Only problem was, I needed a website designer.  Those people don’t come cheap.  I spent a lot of money on a premium domain name, talked to a lot of people that know a lot more about business than I do.  Everyone thought it was a great idea.  But I kept hemming and hawing (is that a word?) and then in July I was able to assist an amazing family with a coordinated online fundraising project that raised a ton of money.  You can read about that here.

Gradually, based upon the work I did for them, a new idea took shape.  Pray.Share.Give.  However, for this project I needed a website designer as well.  I did find an amazing gentleman here in town who offered to do it for free.  I know he would have done a fantastic job.  Well, after a great deal of research and many discussions with area attorneys, the legal fees to set this sucker up were far more than I had especially since we still hadn’t (and haven’t) received our 2011 tax refund check.  Plus, this was my baby.  I had so many visions of how I wanted the website to look and I didn’t know how to describe it to anyone.

At that point, when Pray.Share.Give. was hanging in limbo, I received an email by a gal you all might know, Funny Postpartum Lady.  She asked  if I could help her redesign her blog.  Sure, I said, I’ll give it a try. I started slowly, googling Blogger tutorials until I was blue in the face.   I finished it and she was thrilled.  I was thrilled.  I spent hours working on that project, but I didn’t care one bit.  The final creation was worth it.  I created a space that she loved and it turns out I loved doing it.

I created my own little Blogger design website and my journey began.  A few of my amazing Internet friends, You Know It Happens At Your House Too, Somewhat Sane Mom, and The Real Housewife of Santee took a chance on me and  I had so much fun designing spaces for these amazing bloggers and mothers.  Gradually, I had more and more clients emailing me and before I knew it, I had about 8 designs under my belt.  You can check out my portfolio here.

So here I was, making a little bit of extra cash and loving what I was doing.  I was still waiting tables part-time and hating every second of it.  I needed to learn wordpress, but for some reason, was scared of it.  Then my fancy schmancy blog designer Ro emailed me.  She was started a blog design training center, with the first sessions starting October 1.  I jumped on that faster than, well, just really fast.  I couldn’t wait to learn wordpress and to learn more tricks in Blogger.

I chatted with my husband and asked him about quitting my job.  He was all for it.  Mostly because it was so difficult to coordinate bedtime for the kiddos with our schedules.  So I did it.  I took an extreme leap of faith and quit.  I started my training course and never looked back.  No more fear over wordpress…pshhhh.  I can blow that out of the water.  Okay, not really, but I got it now.

In retrospect, one of the biggest reasons I turned to designing websites was due largely to my own frustrations with my potential business ideas.  I didn’t want to hire it done.  I wanted to do it myself.   So I did.  I learned how to design and build websites.  I have a lot more to learn before I launch my next two ventures but I have accepted that this is what God wants me to do now.  It took me quite some time to get here, but I am here.  I merely followed the subtle signs He gave along the way.

College Graduate, Law School Graduate, Restaurant Manager, Mommy, Server and now WEBSITE DESIGNER!

For the first time in my life, I feel like I have a direction.  I feel like I have a career that I love.  I am not only a wife and mommy, I am now a website designer.  This is me.  Who knew?

Dear Blog,

Please forgive me for neglecting you for a month.  Holy molies!  A whole month!  What in the hell was I thinking leaving you all alone over here in your own little corner of the blogosphere for a month?  You must be terribly disappointed.  Well, I am back and my new goal is to play with you once a week.  I know, I know, once a week isn’t nearly enough time to spend with you, but right now it’s all I’ve got.

See, I’ve started a little blog design business and it is going smashingly well.  So well, that tonight, I took a leap of faith and put my two weeks’ notice in at the restaurant.  I am completely relying on God to help me provide for my family during this time.  Namely to help me provide the monthly tuition for the turkeys’ education.

Sometimes, you just have to take a leap.  And that is what I am doing.  Despite the fact that I feel like I want to throw up, I took a leap.  A leap that I know will lead to the betterment of my family, my friends, myself and others.

I start a series of workshops next week that will take my blog designing skills to the next level.  And I know that this is leading me, ultimately, to the development of Pray.Share.Give.

I love this new path my life is taking and I owe it all to you, my dear bloggy blog.  It was you that helped me develop an amazing community of readers and supporters.  It was you that gave me the confidence to be brutally honest about my life as a wife and mother of twins.

So as I embark on this journey, I look forward to reconnecting with you again.  I look forward to sharing my successes and my setbacks.  I love you, my dear blog and I promise to never leave you again.

Love and peace,

Andrea